Birth Parent Stories

For me, adoption is the most unselfish decision I could make for my child. By choosing ABC, I felt I was given the opportunity to make all the decisions.    

Birth Mother, Olathe

To tell my story I must take you back to the beginning and the position that I found myself in. I am 26 years old and already the mother of two beautiful boys who are now the ages of seven and five. To begin I was quite shocked when I found out that I could even be pregnant as the man I was dating at the time should not have been able to get me pregnant. When I first told him that I was pregnant he was very adamant about me having an abortion, which was not even considered as an option to me. I was very scared at the time and had thought about the idea of adoption in the early stages of my pregnancy, but then disregarded it as I did not feel that I could give my child up.

As my pregnancy progressed along the father denied paternity of the child I was carrying. However, he was the father of two daughters and I believed that in the end and once the baby was born that he would come around. I endured an emotional roller coaster for the remainder of my pregnancy with him and around my seventh month it started to become a reality and quite clear that he was not going to come around. It was then that I started looking at all my options again, this included adoption.

I went to visit a social worker at ABC and she could not have been more wonderful. She explained what an adoption plan was. You see my perception of an adoption was well what you see in the movies, the baby is born and whisked away and you never see or hear about your child again. I could not have been more wrong. I took some time to let everything she had said sink in and I started making an adoption plan. It was very important to me that I know how my child was doing and to be able to still see my child on occasion.

I met with the social worker again and explained the things that were important to me and we began to make an adoption plan together. Picture of Jennifer I then looked at a variety of profiles, which are books put together by and about adoptive families, that fit the profile of the family I was looking for. The first one that I picked up I got a warm feeling from that I did not get with the others. We then set up a meeting with the adoptive couple and it was at this meeting that I again got an instant warm feeling and knew these people were perfect and exactly what I was looking for and whom I would be entrusting the care of my child to.

Over the next couple of months we formed a great relationship that we have continued to build on and that will last a lifetime. I do not worry about my son as I know he is in great hands. We have what is called an open adoption where I receive pictures and letters letting me know what is new with my son and we also meet and I see my son.

The road to this decision was not an easy one and I have to say that it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But with the understanding and support of the birthparent coordinator, who also provided me with wonderful resources, and one of my friends, I was able to get through what was a very difficult time. You will find that not all people will understand and some will judge you in your decision. I know this because I lost people that I thought were good friends. But you have to know that you are doing this for what you feel is the best interest of your child and doing what you feel is right in your heart! I could not be more happier in the decision that I made.

My son is now four months old and I know I have not only give a couple something they desperately wanted but more importantly I have given my son the life that I wanted him to have!

Jennifer, Birth Mother